Thursday, February 23, 2012

You Call That Fun? Yes. Yes I Do.

I arrived at work the other day and started chatting with a couple of co-workers who are around my same age.  As we bantered back and forth over Oscar predictions, dating and the weather, one of them asked me if I was sick.  At first, I was kind of confused, but then I realized that my voice did sound a little strained and possibly congested.

I took a quick mental scan… was I getting sick?  My stomach is fine, my head is fine, no symptoms.  I mean, I guess I was a little tired… Hmm… I wonder why I’m tired this morning… Oh.  Right…

“I was in acting class last night after work until about midnight.  Oh… and we were working on a scene in which I played a woman who just lost her brother in the war, so it was… um… kind of emotional.”

They both just stared at me.

I know, ladies.  I’m crazy.  I’m an actor and that’s what we do.  When you leave the office, you probably go home and open a bottle of wine, sit back and watch an episode or two of Glee.

But me?  I’m madly dashing to a little studio with a couple of lights and bearing my soul in front of a camera.  I’m living a moment that no one should have to face, yet thousands do.  I’m believing that the person sitting in the room is really handing me a letter from my dead brother.  The letter he wrote just in case the next mission was his last.  I look down at what’s really his handwriting spelling my name on the paper.  My heart is filling with so much pain and anger that I can’t keep the tears from falling, no matter how hard I try.  It's an experience so real, it lingers in my voice the next day.

Ladies, while you’re watching season three of The Unit… I’m actually living it.

And it’s fucking amazing.

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