Does it hurt?
The question my mother facetiously asked when I told her. No it doesn't hurt. In fact, this kind of pinning is a really good feeling! And it couldn't have come at a better time...
I walked out of a co-star audition yesterday feeling sick to my stomach. My read just felt... off. Flat. I'm not sure what happened. Maybe I wasn't totally in the moment. Maybe I was thrown because the casting office changed locations within the studio and I walked up thinking I'd be used to the space, but then I wasn't. Maybe it was because I overheard the CD tell the girl before me, "Oh my god, yes! I loved that" and I didn't shrug it off like I thought I had. Whatever happened, halfway through my read I thought... "Ooh I can do so much better than this." Then I made an even worse mistake: after they quickly thanked me-- the universal audition language for "thanks, but no thanks" -- I just walked away.
I should have asked to do it again. They know me, they know I'm good. This is the second time they've had me read in as many weeks. It was a short scene and I was the last of the day. I'm sure they would have let me give it another rip. But I just walked away. Then proceeded to beat myself up for it for the next hour.
After a couple poor me texts to my mother and an ugh I'm so frustrated with myself for blowing an opportunity text to another actor, I decided to email my agent. I told him I felt pretty blah and would it be possible to ask them for a do-over.
To which he replied... well, you just got pinned for the pilot!!
I had basically given up on the audition I had last week for the pilot. It felt amazing, really funny and a great reunion with one of my favorite CDs. But when Friday, the weekend and Monday went by without word, I figured it had gone to someone else. I wasn't terribly concerned, I knew the CD would have me back. But as it turns out, I've been pinned for the role!!
Now what does "pinned" mean? It's not a booking... yet. It means I'm on a very short list of actors (also pinned) who are the finalists for the role. It's very similar to the "on avail" you would get for a commercial project. Essentially, the production is letting me and my reps know that I'm a final contender and could I please keep the shoot dates available for them.
Yay!! My first official pilot audition and mamma brought home a pin!! So within an hour and half from feeling lowest of the low for bombing an audition and feeling (yet again) like nothing lay on the horizon... Team Anony morale zoomed back up at the prospect of shooting my first pilot! Fingers crossed that I'll have even better news for you in the next few days!!