There are moments when I realize that what I'm trying to do for a living is strange. Like the moments when I get some sort of weird rush when I realized that I've really let go for the ten minutes I was in front of the camera and truly believed that I was actually performing brain surgery on an eight year old boy who ends up dying on my table. Normal people spend their lives trying to avoid trauma like that... But not me. I spend mine digging deep to learn to live it with honesty and total commitment in moments that were written for me and exist outside of anything in my real life. Some moments that I wouldn't want in my real life.
Then there are the other ways that it becomes apparent that what I do is strange...
Like the public part. This, I imagine, will only get more and more interesting as my profile gradually develops from anonymous to household. Though I'm at the beginning of that journey, I still have a little awareness for how "out there" I am, primarily because I use my real name as my professional performer name. In fact, I generally don't give out my last name to a guy until the second or third date because a quick entry in Google returns a hundred pages of information on me. Something about that is just not as fun as getting to reveal all that info myself.
But obviously, some people do know my full name, and often I see it entered as a search term that drives traffic to my website. (And rightfully so. If a casting director or producer Googles me, you bet I want my Myname.com to show up at the top of the list.) Nine times out of ten, it's one of the following:
"My Name actress"
"My Name Los Angeles"
"My Name myhometown"
But sometimes other search terms drive traffic. Recently, someone out there was looking for something a little... um, extra... and used the following search terms:
"My Name nude"
I'm really not sure if I'm grossed out or flattered... Sorry buddy, whoever you are. You could look through all 100 Google pages and still not find anything like that on me. The only video you'll see is my demo reel, and it doesn't incorporate night vision.