Thursday, May 3, 2012

That's a Benjamin!

Today marks the one hundredth time I’ve written to you.  We’ve shared one hundred posts and seven months of our lives together.  By now, you and I have started to get to know each other.  Well… more that you’ve gotten to know me and I imagine who all you are based on the comments and emails you leave for me.  Seems like only yesterday I posted my first note and excitedly watched the two or three hits I had each day.  Now?  There are… well… a LOT more of you.  And I’m glad you’re here.  So unbelievably grateful.

Being crazy enough to find pleasure in playing pretend as an adult is one thing.  Being certifiably insane enough to actually pursue it as a career is probably legitimate grounds for a 5150 (involuntary psychiatric hold).  Not only does it take constant study to learn to act and do it well… it takes endless hustle to even get a shot at auditioning for the smallest of roles.  It's signing in, waiting your turn, knocking on doors, dropping off headshots, taking chances, bending the rules, calling in favors, running your ass all over town only to be rewarded with, “Thanks for coming in,” most of the time.  Sometimes you don’t even get to drag your ass out there.  Today I emailed a casting director about a role in a feature that I’m pretty sure I could nail.  The response?

“Thanks.  Nothing you’re right for.  Sorry.”

Okay, I disagree, but fair enough.  Some might react to that as a strike out.  But me?  It’s a little win.  I’ve never met that casting director.  I’ve never been called into that office.  (It’s good office: lots of pilots, lots of features.)  Disguised in that superficial rejection, there’s the beginnings of a professional relationship.  It’s a chink in the armor of this industry, a crack in the impenetrable walls of the fortress that is Hollywood.  The fact that the CD took the time to actually consider me (rare), and then respond (unheard of) with what is (at least in the world of this town) a somewhat pleasant email offering condolences… say no more.  I’m on their radar.  If gingerly nurtured and properly cultivated, you never know where this opportunity could lead.  Maybe nowhere, but wouldn’t it be grand if I kept them updated on my bookings, found them in a workshop to meet them in person and they ended up calling me in on another feature?  And then what if I booked it??

I’m glad you’re here, whether you joined us at post 1 or today’s 100th.  I love writing it all down for you and sharing the many, many (MANY) things I’ve tried and am still trying in order to chase this little dream of mine.  Perhaps some of it will inspire you in the pursuit of your own dream, be it of Hollywood or otherwise.  All you have to do is keep coming back.  I’ll be here.  And trust me, there’s lots more to come.

Lots more.

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