Thursday, December 1, 2011

Monkey Barring

I’ve been called a lot of things in my twenty-some years.  Some good, some not, some true, some false.  Generally I believe that the names people call you, particularly when it comes to the negative kind, are more a reflection on them and their issues than they are on you.  I make every effort to live my life with honesty, integrity and compassion.  Any sleep I lose at night is only because my mind has an off switch that has been known to break down on me from time to time.  So those negative names don’t really bother me anymore; it can actually be entertaining. 

A couple months ago, I gave my number to someone I wasn’t really that interested in.  A friend of mine always teases me for doing this, but I always adamantly reply that people can surprise you if you give them a chance.  Well unfortunately, this guy wasn’t one of those people.  He didn’t surprise me.  In fact, he just started to annoy me. 

The poor guy’s first mistake was to text me to invite me out for a drink.  Come on guys!!  You should be ashamed at how often this happens.  Respect a girl enough to pick up the phone and call.  (Which he did.. after I said I don’t accept invitations over text message, but that he was welcome to call me and ask.) 

Then, we were having trouble lining up our schedules to grab a drink, so we had to pick a day that was over a week in advance.  Great.  Done.  See ya then.  

…But then he kept texting me!  Every. Single. Day.  “How was your day?  How was your weekend?  What did you do, who did you see?  What’s your plan tomorrow??”

Sigh... I get it.  You don’t want to lose momentum.  A text or two, I can deal with.  But seriously, every day??!  This was  a week before our first date!  Buddy, I don’t know you yet.  I’m saving all my dynamic conversation for this drink-thing we’re having next week.  In my humble opinion, you have to resist the temptation to have your first conversation via text.  Some people may not mind, but I am not interested in getting to know someone over text messages.  I’m just not that kind of girl.

More than anything, I started to realize that I just wasn’t looking forward to this drink-thing.  I kept thinking I could be using that evening for a million other things on my list.  Plus, it’s just not fair to Mr. Texter to waste his evening on something I already know is a dead end.  So I decided to call the guy and break the plans.  I chickened out from telling him the real reason and instead used this lame yet classic cop-out:

“I’m so sorry.  I was seeing someone, and it wasn’t totally official, but now it just got official.  I won’t be able to make it next week, but I wish you all the luck in the world.”

“That’s cool.  So you’re a monkey-bar-er,” he said, half-joking, (which also means half-serious).

“Huh?  A what?”

“You monkey-bar from one thing to the next, always looking for the next wrung, and don’t let go of the last one until you get there.”

Humpf.  I hadn’t heard that one before.  I said “Touché, fair enough” and we both had a little chuckle, me mostly because I had no way to deny it.

Ironically, I realized later that he wasn’t completely wrong.  I guess I am sort of a “monkey-bar-er.”  I currently have Agent A that I’m using while I swing myself to a better one.  I got an offer from another small (but better) Agent B, but I’m sitting on it because I was certain that I’d be able to reach a little higher to Agent C at my commercial showcase next week.  But I just found out the showcase was postponed until January.  I doubt Agent B will wait for me to get back to them in two months, so I’m actually debating on seeing how we work together until the showcase… and then, who knows?
Despite that Mr. Texter thinks differently because of my little white lie, I’m not a dating monkey-bar-er.  But in Hollywood?  I guess I am a little guilty. 

But there’s a key difference here.  This is Hollywood and it ain't personal.  It’s business.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. I dont know how you live with yourself. I am so sick and tired of people who see those who take an interest in our lives as "needy" or "creepy." You know how many girls would LOVE a guy who liked them enough to text every day? and lets face it, when you like a guy you probably act the same way so i dont get why you are dismissing this poor guy for doing the very thing girls constantly get dumped for doing and then cry for days, weeks, months, years.... and to lie like him? People like you are the reason why dating has been so hard these past few years. If people stopped seeing neediness as a quality worse than being a cheating lying asshole, then i think the world would be a hell of a lot happier place to live.

    people wonder why people like me are sooooo paranoid, its because of assholes like you! Who wont even tell the truth, and say you wish us "all the luck in the world" when in reality you can't stand us and hope we die. Even honesty would seriously help. If you think we are annoying, TELL US. Constantly being flaked on like this isnt going to help us be any less annoying, its just going to make us miserable and paranoid. it sickens me that you think your lie is a "white lie." It seriously is the reason why i have been suicidal the past year and a half. its not till i met the guy i am currently dating that my life finally started looking up again and i have hope once again that not all people are major douchebags. this guy wants to see me EVERY SINGLE DAY, and instead of getting creeped out like you do i thank god for him and am so grateful to have someone in my life who cares about me so much, especially since i have been in his shoes, have been that infatuated, and no one has ever accepted it.