It Was Mine (Until It Wasn't)

I've been on my A-game recently.  I've hustled and seen the inside of the casting room for some really good projects and I've brought some really good work to the table.  I've been more focused, confident, and at ease than I have ever been before in my career.  I've walked away from recent auditions knowing I nailed them.  I've been called back for the same roles, called in by the same casting directors for different roles, great feedback, promising emails, encouraging coaches, excited associates...

But I haven't booked in what seems like a hundred years.  Really, it's only been a couple of months, but that feels like a hundred years.  I've been walking away thinking my work was solid, that some of these were mine.  But I guess they weren't.  Or so I thought... Yesterday a friend called me confused why I hadn't called him with the great news.  

What great news?  

He had been involved with the pilot I auditioned for a few weeks back.  My friend at the production company had reached out to him to scout his house as a possible location for the shoot.  They didn't end up going with his house, but over the course of a few location meetings, he had heard from two separate producers that I had booked it.  The role was mine.

"Um, nope.  They never called me and I know they've already wrapped, so it definitely went to someone else."

"That's weird," he said, "they told me it was yours... that's Hollywood, I guess." 

Yes, yes it is. *sigh...  Still, it's kind of nice to know that it was mine (until it wasn't).  Just a little reminder that I'm on the right track, I'm putting myself out there, and I'm doing what I need to do.

Success is not a question.  It's just a matter of time.