This Crazy Train Life

When I first moved to Los Angeles, I had a certain picture in my head for what life would be like as an actor. I imagined that working the actor hustle would consist of printing fancy headshots, auditioning for all my favorite television shows, taking general meetings with studio casting departments and occasionally getting to work on a few projects that would play on every screen-- big or small-- across the country. An exciting life to be sure, but I never imagined how odd it really is.

The #actorslife hashtag can't even begin to capture the real grind of this job. I have filmed on locations that required a half mile hike in order to use the restroom. I have changed my clothes in my car around LA so many times I don't even care who sees a flash of my bra anymore. I have cut the extra inch and a half from my 8.5X11 resume to fit my 8X10 headshot so many times, I now believe it's actually a big psychological experiment designed to test an actor's sanity. I worked hard on screen only to become the victim of bad lighting, bad hair or bad makeup rendering footage totally unusable.

Sure, there are fancy trailers and celebrities and film festivals and people seeing me on TV. But mostly it's crying/screaming/stripping down to a bathing suit in front of strangers in random rooms all around Los Angeles. It's feeling the pang of shelling out $175 for one hour with an audition coach before you walk into one of those rooms... but then walk out without booking the job. It's long email strings with your reps about exactly how long you should keep your hair. It's last minute canceling on evening plans with friends because it's 6pm and the next day's audition requests are rolling in. It's my roommate laughing from the other side of the apartment because I'm endlessly muttering dialog to myself when I'm getting ready. This life, it's crazy.

But folks, ain't it grand??