I should have known. That damn sign in sheet told the whole story. It's a classic, classic tale, all too common in this industry nowadays...
I've worked my tail off the last few weeks trying to land this movie. Networking. Reading the script multiple times. Studying every word written about my character. Driving across town to the stuffy casting office in this god-forsaken heat not once, but THREE times. Prepared NINE different scenes. I opened my soul and put a rainbow of human emotions on display for five people I've never seen before in my life. I traded survival job shifts for audition times and I've postponed travel plans for my only sister's wedding all in the name of the hustle.
Well, I just found out today they decided to go with a name. Ugh, it's so cliché I almost can't stand to write it. The good news is, her offer expires tonight and if by some crazy miracle she rejects, it goes to me. But seeing as it's already 8:00 and my agent hasn't called, I'm guessing its a done deal by now.
As my agent said, "Fuck." I came close. So so close. But close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. There is no credit for being second in line. Sure, I beat out thousands of other girls, but there is no money attached to landing the position of first loser. All kudos to her, I'm sure she's talented and works hard as well, but damn, she just cost me about five to ten grand. The other three leads are pretty well established actors, so it would have been a great to work opposite them as well. But now it remains a "woulda."
Oh well, c'est la vie of an actor in this town. Someday the balance will tip in my favor because I'm the name instead of it being the one thing keeping me from an offer. Oh god I wish that day were here. I'm so ready for it.
Still, I do feel a little pride in the fact that judging by the sign in sheet, I was the clear underdog. I was up against talent from the biggest agencies in the world... And considering that NONE of those agents would have even given me a meeting right now let alone repped me... I feel pretty good that I almost snagged a role out from under their clients.
That's really only important to me and my agent right now, but we're the only ones who matter anyway. It's me and him against everyone else... And that scale is going to tip in our favor soon. So soon I can almost taste it.