The Bank Trap

Are you able to just walk right by these cuties? I think not. 

Life in La La Land

So I'm sitting in a non-descript cafe reading while I wait for a screening to start. Periodically I look up from my book, take a sip of my drink. Perhaps take a peek at the TV screens. Maybe a quick glance around the room at the other patrons. Back to my book.

Wait... *Cue audio effect of a tape screeching to a halt*

I glance back as a familiar face catches my eye. Adam Sandler is having dinner with his kids one table over. No one is bugging them. It's just a regular Friday night, we're all enjoying our meal out on the town.

Ahhh.... Hollywood. This is real life here.

I smile to myself and go back to my book...

Sloppy Seconds

I should have known. That damn sign in sheet told the whole story. It's a classic, classic tale, all too common in this industry nowadays...

I've worked my tail off the last few weeks trying to land this movie. Networking. Reading the script multiple times. Studying every word written about my character. Driving across town to the stuffy casting office in this god-forsaken heat not once, but THREE times. Prepared NINE different scenes. I opened my soul and put a rainbow of human emotions on display for five people I've never seen before in my life. I traded survival job shifts for audition times and I've postponed travel plans for my only sister's wedding all in the name of the hustle.

Well, I just found out today they decided to go with a name. Ugh, it's so cliché I almost can't stand to write it. The good news is, her offer expires tonight and if by some crazy miracle she rejects, it goes to me. But seeing as it's already 8:00 and my agent hasn't called, I'm guessing its a done deal by now.

As my agent said, "Fuck." I came close. So so close. But close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. There is no credit for being second in line. Sure, I beat out thousands of other girls, but there is no money attached to landing the position of first loser. All kudos to her, I'm sure she's talented and works hard as well, but damn, she just cost me about five to ten grand. The other three leads are pretty well established actors, so it would have been a great to work opposite them as well. But now it remains a "woulda."

Oh well, c'est la vie of an actor in this town. Someday the balance will tip in my favor because I'm the name instead of it being the one thing keeping me from an offer. Oh god I wish that day were here. I'm so ready for it.

Still, I do feel a little pride in the fact that judging by the sign in sheet, I was the clear underdog. I was up against talent from the biggest agencies in the world... And considering that NONE of those agents would have even given me a meeting right now let alone repped me... I feel pretty good that I almost snagged a role out from under their clients.

That's really only important to me and my agent right now, but we're the only ones who matter anyway. It's me and him against everyone else... And that scale is going to tip in our favor soon.  So soon I can almost taste it. 

The Sign In Sheet

Hiya!  Yep, I'm still here.  It has been a busy few weeks.  Mostly it has been filled with hustling like a crazed lunatic. I have had a couple tv auditions, an audition for a small role in a big film and three rounds of auditions for a big role in a small film.  My man has also returned from spending the last couple of months up north, auditioning the hell out of the Toronto summer tv season, so it's good to have him back.  A girl needs a little TLC, you know?  (Wait... is that the first time it has slipped out?  Yeah, soooo.... I met a guy.  He is a crazy talented actor/musician/writer and our favorite pastime is quoting movies and inspiring gut-busting laughter in each other.  More on him later.)

As I mentioned, I just finished my third round of auditions for this indie film I would really like to get.  It comes at a time when I feel like I could really use a booking.  Not just for my wallet -- which desperately needs the injection of cash -- but for my brain too.  My super agent has been consistently getting me out on bigger auditions than I have ever been on before.  Even special requests.  I'll hear of something, ask him to get me in and he does.  (wtf?!)  Can this be true?  Am I one of those rare actors who actually loves her agent and is super happy with the roster she's on??  'Tis true, my friends.  But even with all the great casting offices who have called me in, and the great work I've been doing in them, I haven't booked since the indie film earlier this year.  My relationship with my agent is still new enough that it scares me juuust a tinge.  How many auditions before he starts to doubt?  Will he start to think I'm not a booker.  Which I am.  I am a booker.  I book all the time.  (A little nod to one of my favorite bloggers when I was just getting started here in La La Land.)

I once heard a casting director say you should see a callback or booking within 40 auditions, if not, something else is wrong.  Well, I've beat that by a long shot, so I guess we're safe.  There is little purpose in spending too much time worring about it anyway.  If my agent loses interest and drops me, I guess that's the way it goes.  (Bear in mind, this is all in my head right now.  There is literally no indication that my agent is thinking of making the big D.  But I am an actor and we are all guilty of unending paranoia.)  However, getting two callbacks for this indie film will definitely help keep his confidence in me.  (And my confidence in his confidence in me, if you can follow that logic.)  Especially since it's out of an office that casts about a million of these little films a year.  

As I signed in at the callback yesterday, I did that thing you do when you know it's down to you and one or two others... 

I looked at the sign in sheet.  

I know what you're thinking.  It serves no purpose, I know.  But it's right there and you just can't resist.  It's like those little lollypops at the bank.  You see them, you know you don't really want one and they're probably a little bad for you, but you take a rootbeer flavored one anyway just because they're there.  It's human nature. Resistance is futile.

I knew I was one of the last ones of the casting session, and I couldn't help but look for other girls who had come and gone before me for the same role.  I just had to flick my eyes up as I wrote down my name and appointment time.  There were two and I didn't recognize their names.  Good, then they're pretty easy to ignore.  Especially since they were no longer at the office by the time I came in to read and I didn't have to size them up in flesh 'n blood.  (Oh shut up.  You've done it too.)

Then I looked a little further and tried not to be freaked out by the fact that the other actors who signed in before me were all mostly repped by A-list agencies.  I mean the big dogs in town. (Much like the above picture, which is the actual sign-in for casting The Office pilot.)  I'm at a good house... but not that good.  Not by a long shot.  But there they were.  A handful of names repped by the biggest agencies in Hollywood.  And me.  Little Anony with my good, but modest rep (whom I love more than brunch.  And I fucking love brunch.)  

Still, it doesn't actually matter.  You know what does?  As soon as I step on my mark, stand in front of the camera and look into that reader's eyes, I've got just as good a shot as any girl who stood on that mark before me.  In that moment, it doesn't matter if UTA, CAA or Gersh is next to my name on the sign in sheet.  In that moment, the playing field is leveled and it's anyone's ball game.

And this girl can hit a home run.